Or maybe it's getting more real. I haven't even checked this blog in about a month. I guess I just figured we now all reached the stage of grieving seperately. Maybe just because I had...I try to hide my tears because I really don't think anything anyone would do or say would help. Or even worse, say something that just makes me want to slap them.
Mary Louise told me when she shared with Aunt Louise how this is getting harder and Aunt Louise replied "What did you think it was gonna be easy?". It's like a light bulb went off--exactly! Leave it up to a DeMeis to put it short and to the point.
My one consolation is that I know I can expect a visit from you nightly in my dreams. Every nite I dream of you..some of them vague others more clear. The other nite I got to hold you, hug and kiss you. It was wonderful and heart wretching at the same time.
Sometimes I just get so mad.....I just thought there was going to be more time. I honestly didn't see you leaving here that soon. God knows I didn't want to see you go on living in the condition you had been in those last 6-9 months but then I get really selfish and think at least I could have touched you.
I try not to think of those last 5 days...but they just creep in...some of those memories can just about bring me to my knees. So Victoria thank you so much for the comment to your Mom's post about Nona reaction to Andrew shaving his head. That was perfect!! I could hear her voice and see her face perfectly!! I needed that!!
Victoria I'm sorry life is beating you up...I know if it were me it would make me miss Nona even more. She was our safety net, huh?
So I will get thru another day---sometimes feeling o.k. and other days not. I do know that where there is much invested there is going to be great loss.
Sweet dreams,
Valerie
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