It's already been a month. I can't believe it. I miss you everyday! Look at my FB status, you'll see how much the rest of this year is going to suck. Thanksgiving, your birthday, Christmas - ugh! I don't really talk about how much I miss you and how losing you has affected me, cause quite honestly, I'm not sure I fully grasp it yet. Part of me feels bad cause there are a lot of times I don't feel grief - but I know it's there. I express it to myself and 99% of the time pretty privately. I hate that it hits me in the least expected ways and places. I saw a woman in a wheelchair Sunday at church and lost it. I was watching a TV show with Kevin last night and two of the characters were talking about losing grandparents and I held it together no problem. I don't get it! I do get that is part of it though. I realized today I haven't been back to your "cript" - P.S. I hate that word - and I really want to, need to. In some small way maybe it'll make it feel more real, I'm not sure. Probably not. I love you more than you'll ever know and dread not seeing you in your chair when I get to the house. It's a crushing site when I look in there and you're not there. Watch over us this holiday season and ease some of the pain.
Love always,
Veronica
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